1465
菜單

遵循 @ lockdownlive 在twitter上.

scdsc

萊克斯-O

它做什麼?

這裡是萊克斯鄰. 我從奧馬哈, 內布拉斯加州和沒有“肚子”有沒有拍過. 我 32 歲,我服務 188 (15 歲月 8 個月) 個月的刑期重犯擁有槍支, 持有意圖分發可卡因聯邦調查局和搶劫,在狀態的作品. 我不知道這將是多久,但是這將是給點,和往常一樣,我真正.

我來自我還記得爸爸只要熏塗料, 直到大約 4 年前. 我為他感到驕傲. 我不知道他,直到我正要 18. 我的媽媽用跳舞來照顧她的家人. 她也大約在同一時間停下. 我有一個繼父,無法忍受我的視線. 現在, 關於我的感覺如何,他. 我也有 3 律兄弟 1 律SIS. 它們的範圍從 27 對 13 律SIS是最年輕的.

我是一個家庭的一部分, 好, 我覺得我沒有拆開. 我的步驟啪啪我看不下去. 我學會了如何採取一個地獄一拳打在一個年輕的年齡. 我知道它希望自己的家庭是一個棄兒. 我的媽媽和人權法的不上,但它是一個日常的事情,我被指責的東西. 相反,它是我的兄弟,不是清理自己的房間,為什麼他的衣服沒有熨燙. 媽媽總是在俱樂部晚上,所以當她到我們學校來工作,當她回到家的時候,這是我們準備上學小時. 她有她自己的時間,對彈出的幾次為自己辯護. 我記得有一次,他試圖刺傷我和媽媽的方式得到的,讓我去樓下. 好, 他有其他的想法,他把我的東西. 幸運的是我,他不知道他在做什麼. 但是,這並不能改變一個事實,這是可怕的地獄!!

只是頂部的事情. 當我們去到目標一次- 我的三個兄弟, 我的繼父和我- 好, 我的兄弟叫他們的自我起重鋪權利? 他們抓到我碰巧沒有找到任何我想要的東西. 所以, 在我的口袋裡什麼也沒有. 我們得到拉到商店的警察,並最終在後面. 他們讓我們清空我們的口袋. 繁榮, 在他們的口袋裡的東西有花色品種從人物的動作糖果. 我沒有一件事嗎? 我們得到的車, 他告訴我們,所以我在車上等待,這樣我就可以獲取窗口幹什麼的? 他告訴我:“你沒有不”, 你沒有得到這輛車. 你教我如何做到這一點的男孩和羞辱我的最後一次, 你可以走. 和只是想多遠的目標是由老SKATELAND的 90 我們住 64 哈特曼火箭公園. 當時我 13 或 14. 我做的,步行和媽媽從來沒有告訴過我或任何人,直到這一刻約.

我真的開始亂用兄弟們的時間是在我 16 冬天 95. 他踢我出去的房子在半夜. 你必須明白的時候,我的遊戲高飛. 我不知道什麼在街上. 我是本書智能向上和向下. 但其餘的對我失去了; 這是一個生命,我也不知道,. 我的生活由學校, 家庭和鄰里的時候,我住在. 瘋狂的事情是,我可以打我的屁股. 我不知道為什麼? 無論如何, 之後,我去和我的啞巴屁股結束了在奧馬哈的家為男孩. 為什麼, 因為在那裡他總是對我不想要男孩被送到. 所以, 我去那裡. 我結束了在後面的警車搭車回. 我告訴他們,我是不是想要的,只好找個地方住. 他們帶我回家,他告訴他們,我就離家出走. 媽媽從來不知道,要么. 進入新的一年,我開始一個星期去黑燒傷高中. 這時候,我遇到了我的第一次親密從項目. 因為只是野生! 尊敬, 由許多擔心和親人都在同呼吸. 我自己,我想他有什麼, 我不知道這是什麼,但我想它. 我記得他最是當他的親密到了什麼第一天,他就在那裡毫不遲疑. 出編號和所有. 有沒有戰鬥一天,學校的警察爆發了. 我記得他說 (ON富山, 這是什麼CUZ) 後來我發現,, 那它到底是什麼.

我不能說,我開始唱歌,因為我沒有與他和所有. 親密不再來學校, 他被鎖了太多後的第一天. 我結束了它與一些帥哥,想破門而入,並要求街上了塊我唱歌. 我想我是狗屎. 上了車,一對夫婦打架, 熏雜草每天闖進房子. 截至壞. 警察找我. 我最終獲得追了上去,和周圍的房子的後院,我踢了它在日常. 有一個克里克右. 我第一次失去了他們我很喜歡身邊有一個傳說,他們開始給我打電話暗影. Because one moment I was there and when them light hit the block I was gone! But the next time not knowing any better it was in the same spot and ran the same way. Unknown to me they kept getting tips that I was around. 好, I got caught that day. My mom talked my step pop’s into paying my bail it was a rack ($1,000). I get out and go right back doing the same thing with this young nigga and go on a 15 對 20 house spree. That ended up badly. They came to his house, knocked on the door. And earlier I told him that something was wrong because I kept seeing this car drive by and I don’t know any one in this spot that drives a car like that. So they knock he lets them in, I slide out the bedroom window. And damn there goes one, on the side of the house I dip on him get right back to the house we just got done breaking into that morning. Everything is still the same. 所以, I call his house *67. Well its about 20 min later I still hear and see these cop cars hitting the block looking for me. As I said I called and he answers!!! I ask him is they gone? He said me yea they gone, then ask me “where are you at”? I stop and think this dude won’t be talking like this if they were gone he would be talking about how I got gone or how they weren’t’ nothing. But we got all this stuff in his house. 所以, I tell him the Cum and Go, not two minutes later the cop cars are flying up the street to the store. I end up getting caught later and go to this spot called z-mod. It’s above the court house and it’s for juveniles. 有 4 tanks literally, with bars across the front and bunk beds on both sides of the rooms, two large table in the middle with the shower and toilet in the back blocked off.

This is the place where I decided that I was gonna be respected one way or another and I kept looking back to that first day at Black Burn.

I learned that the click I was claiming was nothing but a bunch of nobodies. But I still repped what I was at that time even if they were just a click. I got a fast course on what hoods were, how to throw them up disrespect, shoot dice, sell drugs and what respect was. I fought everyday at least once for about 3 months and I can say I never lost a fight there.

I came close but I never came back in the cage with my head down. I meet my homie Danny Ray Robinson there he’s doing life plus for a body fight now. He’s the first Hill Top 33第三屆 gangsta crip, that I can say gave me the game. It wasn’t free at all. I was lucky moms was taken care of me at the time and I got visits on a regular. To say that she was worried for her son that she knows nothing of the streets is in here with what she was…我不知道. But in that time I was gone (a year) my mom got in a bad car accident and flipped her car like 10 times coming off the interstate. Someone slipped her something in her drink at work. She was messed up and still is but not physically as much as mentally. You see my mom’s a DIME and all she knew was profiting off her looks and conversation. In the long run she was able to come back 90% but I still don’t see that confident women I knew so long ago. We all lost something that night, her more then any. I knew that I couldn’t show any weakness or that’s what I thought at the time. I never cried about that nor grieved in any way. I just did what I always did when I couldn’t change something, I put it away. And took it out on the next dude I fought.

While in there I learned a few mean lessons that I carry today, and some flaws too. I still have this lil man complex where I feel like there’s always someone trying to get over on me. Even though I’m in such good shape that there’s no way for me to be that lil man anymore. I push a strong line with homies I have a devotion to my set almost to a fault. I’ve always looked for acceptance in life and I found it when I was there. It’s bad to say but I’m comfortable in this setting because I know what’s expected out of me and what to do in most situations. But there’s nothing like being free and able to open your door in the middle of the night just to go outside and smell some fresh all.

On my 18 birthday or as we call it “C” day. I was transferred to the county that was the scariest ride of my life. I didn’t know what to expect. I go from getting this down to moving up with the big boys. I get there and the whole day is as every first day is, slow. I talk to a few people, most just know that I just turned 18 so the word passed fast. I seen a couple of dudes that were in Z-mod with me that moved up. And the greetings were as nothing changed from place to place. I was a lil stuck because I though that it would be a major difference from place to place. But there wasn’t, I went right in the swing of things from the same meals, count times, C/O’s, shooting dice, 吸煙雜草, visits everything. But I also learned a new way to get caught up. Poker!!! It cost to learn and it’s not cheap. I had a gambling problem from the beginning because I was winning, but no one wins forever. There is no big winner besides the house. Every week I would end up giving someone something from the commissary because I lost that week and if it was the other way it was no where near the same in return. Now I can say I’ve not stopped playing cards but I’m mostly the house or I only play what I can afford to loose and that’s what I have on me at the time. Never should you have to owe someone for something that you never got to see. Your paying someone money so you could sit at the table for a few hours to pass that lonely time away. You can come up with way better ways to spend that money your loved ones sent in. Now I use that money to eat what I want when I want and to talk on the phone and e-mail or send and take pictures. That money benefits me not someone’s pocket. It took me 14 years to see that I was on the wrong path and I still have trouble staying on the right one or the one I feel is right for me.

I was able to get out of that situation (監獄) on a plea agreement. 我 2 years probation, but what they didn’t tell me was all that time I spent in there was just to sit. (It didn’t count towards my probation not one bit but I didn’t know this.) I did a year and 4 days in there over wanting to fit in and kick it.

I got out and didn’t fit into anything that was going on in my family. They moved to a new neighborhood that wasn’t gonna fit me at all. I did my home confinement that was three months and let me tell you there are somethings that you have to do that are messed up.

My step dad could tell the difference in me because after that he never had to much of anything to say to me, let alone want to put his hands on me. I don’t know what it was but there was no convo, he may tell me something one day and not say anything to me for weeks. I could live with that.

A year into it I thought that I had completed my probation I didn’t know anything about anything at the time beside all this stuff I learned in jail and I wanted to test it out. On the streets its a whole new ball game there are no fights like I could get into if they weren’t seen with the same outlook. Running around the city stealing cars, rims, and stereos was my hustle at the time.

I ran into this dude that I knew from Z-mod named Waldo he introduced me to his homies named Desi, Jug Head, Cheese and Kenny. All we did was smoke weed, drive around town looking to get some money for some weed, drink, and mess with women. Kenny had this older girlfriend and they were always on each others backs. I kicked it with them for a long while but it wasn’t what I was looking for at all.

So I went down to 33第三屆 and California around this time. I ran into my homie Hollow Tip at the time he was still from 40 Ave. But all his family stayed in the projects. And his mom and mine worked at the same spot and were close. That was the first time I got to experience what a real homie was. He took me to the Jets and introduced me around. A couple homies knew me from Z-mod and the county jail. I wasn’t accepted in the set or anything right off. But I was there and I loved every moment of being in the Briccs. There is no better feeling then to be apart of something. I don’t have the words to describe what it was I thought I was missing in my life but there I found it. After a while I was either in the Briccs or on 33第三屆 and Cal. I ended up going out to Arizona on a hum bug trip with my homeboy I had met from the county. He is a white dude named Switch Blade. We ended up out here and was stuck out there at this place called Glob Arizona. We sold cotton candy, pickles, pop and popcorn to the Natives on the reservation out there. I had two great experiences that happened to me out there and one horrible one. I called home and found out that this girl I was sleeping with was getting an abortion. I was so messed up I had to leave. I called and talked to my family and decided to go out to SanBeridino California. I had a blast out there but that turned up bad too. I had stole some checks and had my cousin and their men putting them in their checking accounts and withdrawing the $300 a day from their ATM. To say I was having a blast was an understatement. 好, that didn’t turn out too good so I ended up back at the crib.

I ran into Waldo and them and tried some more dumb stuff with checks and ended up in the county jail. I had a forgery charge and so did the ones that drove me out there. In the end I received a 1-2 年徒刑. I also had a warrant for violation of my probation. So they ran all that together. While I was in there I was with three of my big homies OG, Psyco, OG Chipper and Six Pacc. The whole time I was there I ran into couple of dudes that didn’t know me and I had to show them that things aren’t as sweet as they seem. I’ve been in a lot of altercations and a lot of it was because I was trying to prove something not only to hose around me but to myself. In the end I found out that all real homies want from you is for you to be yourself and keep it trill. 不要被什麼東西你不. Stay in your lane, know what you’re good at. Don’t fake it to make it. The realest out here are trying to accomplish something so don’t feel that you have to be everything. When I was going to the joint OG Chopper and OG Psyco vouched for me. Meaning that if I wanted to be put on the set then they would be the one to say yeah. I went to East Omaha with Chopper. The whole time from when we found that we were going to the same spot I was like this the real deal. We weren’t there 20 min. before OG Griff, Corn Flacc, Twaan Locc, (from Hill Top) and King Tut shown up. I ended up in the mod with them.

It was about three months I was there before it happened. They came to me and asked me if I wanted to be from the Projects. And I responded yeah more then you could know. Later on that night I got jumped in the gym. I can say I got Tut good because he’s about my size at the time and for real they let me get him because he’s been riding me for a min. So I got off on cuz and that only lasted for a min or so then I got my issue. It was like the whole yard knew what time it was when I came out from cleaning myself up it was like nothing I will ever forget. There was a new respect for me, I fight to keep that respect everyday even when it wasn’t my fight.

Since then I’ve done two more bids both longer and more drawn out. One for an assault, and this one. I’ve lost a lot of homies to this game, rather to gang violence or to these life long prison terms. They don’t have any problem handing out. The city has torn down two projects to clean up the violence. But the feds are the ones really hurting the game, they are handing out something called a Mandatory Minimum. If you’ve committed two violent crimes and then get caught with a gun, they you are considered a Armed Career Offender. Regardless if you’ve had a gun charge or not. The if you have two prior drug convictions and get caught with dope. Then they can give you a life sentence.

Since I now know that these people are handing out I’m like it’s the thing do to. I believe that its time for me to lay back and live a regular life. I’ve found my religion. I’m a Sunni Muslim and I’ve come to place all worries in Allah’s (GOD’s) hands. I still function with the homies but in here you aren’t just with your set you are now apart of what is a car!! If you are a Gangsta CRIP then you are in the same car as the neighborhoods and Hoovers. If you are from Texas then you are in what they call the South car. There is nothing about this fed stuff that you can put past them. With the dudes there is a saying (in the Feds you can be anything) meaning what you tell me you were doing out there is what we have to go by. Unless someone from your city is there then

Right now I’m doing this MEN S.T.O.P! and LIVE from LOCKDOWN because I want to help someone in the same predicament that I was in growing up. Or anyone that needs someone to talk to that won’t doubt what they are going through, what they believe or want to do. I want you to be able to get something from my words, rather they help you or whatever. This life isn’t what the movies, or how some make it out to be. This life is simply rough. 不要害怕站出來,有自己的夢想和信念. Not everyone has your best interest. Trust in your and God. Because in the end that’s who you will have to answer to.

Don’t think that you will be able to change whatever it is that you want to overnight. That’s not gonna happen either. But be diligent and persistent in your goals. I believe in you if you don’t!!

Keep moving forward always.

萊克斯-O

  

Leave a Reply

您的電子郵件地址不會被公開. 必填字段標 *


閱讀這本書!

選擇語言


編輯翻譯

快速射擊

Category