This post was received before Omar Austin’s last post. The previous post was published first in order to get word of his mother’s unexpected death to family and friends.
What it do? Sorry for being out of touch for a few months. I was on smash back at Trenton [New Jersey] State Prison. They worked it on me. I’m solid though, no matter where I have to be.
All prisons are slave camps.
It’s a fact that the authorities utilize and manipulate location and the difference in conditions throughout the penal system to create and maintain a caste structure. Some slaves think one slave camp is better than the next one. Ironically, throughout slavery, some of the enslaved ancestors thought some plantations and owners were better than others. Just like it was then, the house niggers today are the trustees who have the best jobs in a prison. They are the eyes and ears for the authorities. A rebel nigga stands no chance of getting a job inside the institution without bending at the waist and coughing up pieces of his dignity.
It’s really out of control.
Since I am real, by all means, I will forever be hunted, harassed, scrutinized, investigated, isolated, moved around, etc. I was put into administrative segregation because a brother told me over the phone about some other brothers who got arrested in a big case in my city – Brick City – Newark, New Jersey, and that was enough. He identified them by their gang, which is a common way to talk coming from where we’re from. All of a sudden, this time it was a problem. We weren’t discussing criminal activities at all. We weren’t even discussing breaking rules. No! We were discussing recent news, news.
One week before I got snatched up, I was scheduled to take my test and get my high school diploma. Now, I am back at Trenton State Prison, fresh out of lockup. Back there it is hell. It is sort of a soul-breaker. A man has to have some sense of purpose to make it day-to-day in there. Rats and water bugs are all over the place. It looks as if it hasn’t been cleaned or painted since F.D.R. was the president. Yeah! The smell is like the nasty odors of many filthy men fighting for their place in the atmosphere. Some guys use feces as a weapon when they want to attack someone. We can only shower every three days. The sinks do not have hot water. There is constant noise. Guys cope by screaming out of their cells all day. Everything that comes to their mind is a public announcement.
Arguments are as natural as a living person breathing.
Somewhere inside of every argument is two grown ass men who tell each other to suck a dick (a sign of absolute disrespect). Then they’ll curse each other’s gang. Then, if they can get recreation together, they will fight. Or, if one of them is really just all mouth, then he will talk all of that shit, and then he won’t go outside.
Sexual psychos are on deck.
Disgusting guys with no shame reveal their penis to any female worker that comes through. Most of the time it is just a nurse escorted by a CO. Dudes don’t care about the COs presence, who in nearly all cases is a man. They still expose themselves. Guys like me tell them that they are rapists, and if they would do that, then they would surely rape a woman if they could. But for some guys they think that kind of behavior is acceptable.
God made man in his image. We are the imagery of God. If you ask me what does God look like, I’d say me, you, him, and her. We are not animals. We are above animals for the simple fact that animals cannot choose at any time to be anything other than an animal. An alligator cannot decide to be human. But a human being can choose to act like a God, a devil or the animal of his or her preference. Therefore there isn’t an excuse to be a low-life by conscious intent. This hell hole doesn’t make us messed up humans. It just provides a platform to explore the depths of which man can stoop, if he so chooses. Prison doesn’t make people gay either. It just gives closeted gay men a platform to express what is already inside of them.
Everyday that I live under these conditions,
there is a new lesson to learn about human survival.
I am a relatively quiet person, unless I already know you. I try to to open doors that are meant to be sealed shut! I do not play around, call homies out of their names or get into their arguments and debates. I conducted myself like this even as a child. As a young homie, I was mature. I hated the feeling of being vulnerable. If I am acting other than myself, then I am vulnerable. That’s why I am me under all circumstances.
Well, I just wanted to let you guys know my life for the pass three months. Give y’all a visual. #RaiseUP