asdas penitentiary Archives - Live from Lockdown

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    Justice and Peace

    I used to fight over colors I used to fight over territory to hustle on I used to fight over disrespect I thought I was hard I thought I was like that I thought I was a man, but deep inside I was emotionally distressed, mentally depressed. I was cold; I was just-ice I was in a state of imprisonment within myself In my prison I had fights with me I had constant lockdowns I felt all alone, with thoughts of homicide, suicide and many other violent injustices. I believed I was a victim of...READ MORE



    Transition is the most uncomfortable experience I have endured, and in turn it has been one of the most beneficial. When I took a hard look at my life I was able to point out a number of things I disliked. Of course I do not mean things like my height or the size of my nose. Those are simply things that separate from the rest. Let’s talk about my height and unhealthy eating for instance. In 2009, I was 192 pounds, the heaviest I have ever been my entire life. It may not sound extreme,...READ MORE


    A Child of Addiction

    Take a walk with me. Look through my eyes. See what I see. Feel my reality. I was born in Fontana, raised between there and the East Side streets of Los Angeles. I am the epitome of a product of a broken home and a child who was born with a heart of gold that the world turned cold. I lost my mother a total of four times. Once from the ages 2-5, then ages 5-8 and from age 8 til about two months after my eleventh birthday. All three times my mother served  three year bids in one of...READ MORE


    Bonding from Behind Bars: An Incarcerated Parent’s Story

    Imagine being a father of a one-year-old and a six-year-old. Now imagine receiving a prison sentence that is literally so long both of these children will grow into adults during your incarceration. Take another minute to imagine the psychological strain and trauma thrust upon the children and the father.  That psychological impact can have a devastating effect on those children. 1-in-28 children under the age of eighteen have an incarcerated parent. This translates into more than 2.7...READ MORE


    Flagrant Foul on All Fakes #ISeeYou

    Not too long ago it had been brought to my attention that the streets were in dire need of a “zero-tolerance” type conversation. Hoping it would possibly bring a few back to the essence and away from the Frank Ocean type behavior. With my ear to the pavement, I’m hearing it’s entirely too much faking taking place. Pretend thugs, Grammy Award winning gang-bangers and simply put scared n!**as with mean mugs. No disrespect to the real ones! Well, as you can see somebody...READ MORE


    Feel My Pain: 4:00am

    At a young age I was taught to hold the steel Without understanding my own will Wasn’t free to feel Emotion wasn’t even part of the deal The house was full of love and hate Not knowing what to create Birthed a lost soul full of hate Only wished to be loved by a sibling to date Learned the game from a distance It was too easy to handle my business Painted illusions for the world But those close only understood my world Too smart for the streets but too dumb to understand Prison is...READ MORE


    Change Starts in the Penitentiary

    When you have become accustomed to doing things one way change can be extremely uncomfortable. But be mindful that the things we don’t enjoy are often best for us. Often I here guys who have longer sentences question change. It often comes with the questions of why or what is the purpose. Then I usually ask this question: How would you like to be remembered? A drug dealer, gang banger, sex offender, murderer, car thief, bank robber, pimp? The lifestyles we once lived do not have to...READ MORE


    Life is not an act

    If life was an act and came with no do-overs, nothing would be what it is. Our perfect perception of paradise would be but an empty frame. Our wrongs would easily be of little significance. Everyday would play out another scene we regret; questioning why no one yelled, “Cut!” and allowed us the opportunity to put on our best face. All made up for the world to see, the person we are not. Appealing to the Grammy family as an exercise to be everything and everyone other than your self....READ MORE


    This is war

    Can you hear it? The gut wrenching hollers of hell Can you feel it? The mental and physical strain of those trapped in here. Stolen freedom echoing throughout the night. What I have been through, I wish not on my worst enemy. Everyday my struggles grow greater, the end nowhere in sight. So many castigated, made silent victims of cruel and unusual vengeance. An undesired darkness, undressed psychological torture so intense one can no longer dream of light. Shackled forever. Restrained. Hidden....READ MORE


    Our kids are in a better place

    A stripper she became, her dark hair fell down upon her shoulders like rain/Dancing on stages, sliding on poles, getting paid for favors in V.I.P., dollars came for private shows and parties/Out of peepholes and windows she’d glance, to capture looks of me whom she wanted to be her man badly/Sadly, she’d take swallows of beer to escape the world she feared, then clearing her drink, she’d puff cigarettes to think/Scary reflections for my secretary before she disrobed, had a...READ MORE

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