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  • Serikali ya Jina: Tewhan Butler
  • Idadi kujiandikisha: 26852-050
  • Umri:34
  • Muda aliwahi:11 miaka
  • Nyumbani Town:East Orange, NJ
  • Sentence:30 yrs.
  • Sasa Mfawidhi:RICO
  • Alias:Massacre
  • Kutolewa Tarehe:2029
  • Gerezani Maegemeo:Damu (Double ii / QSBG)
  • Mzunguko wa Ushawishi:Altariq Gumbs, Emmanuel Jones, Lester Alford, Mark Michael Robertson, Pele Brown, Daudi Drone, Jermaine Ray, Marcus Martin, Michael Simpson, Omar Austin, Quaheem Edwards, Torvos Simpson, Vincent Gamboa
  • Taasisi:USP McCreary
  • Hapa, maisha yangu nyuma ya baa inatoa ufahamu kwa wale ambao wanaingia 'maisha' na hakuna uelewa wa madhara yake: shida, vikwazo na safari moja lazima kusafiri peke yake wakati gavel ni slammed, kiini yako imefungwa na taa kwenda nje.

Trust Issues

Trust issues

kukaa kupanuliwa katika confinement faragha kuongozwa na wakati inahitajika sana ya tathmini binafsi.

For quite some time I’ve been spilling truth from my pen in search of absolutely nothing in return. Today I’m in desperate need for what can be considered an enormous favor. Tafadhali, just this one time, can you lend me your ear?

(Inhales deeply) I didn’t realize how difficult this would be until now. Not too long ago this beast of a place got a hold of my sanity. My mental began to slip. I found myself questioning. When I shouted and was thoroughly responded to, I was forced into what can be considered a much needed moment of self evaluation. During this time of psychological torture I lost sight of the importance of the “good word”. (Not referring to the Bible)

Since a child I always had difficulty maintaining a friendship or bond. Be it romantically with a woman or brotherly with a comrade. My moment of self evaluation made me consider why. Why did I always manage to sabotage relationships? Why did I always create distance when anyone got too close? What I found was, similar to being a product of my environment, I was furthermore an object of my experiences. What I’ve experienced in my years was the greatest harm done by those in closest proximity.

In the streets I was taught trust no one. In prison my survival is dependent on trusting no one. A lifetime of trust no one has rendered me a man lost. The mental and emotional strain of my way of life have been and still are debilitating. So I just want to share the results of my self evaluation with you all in the hope that we can build on the lesson learned.

We all have trust issues and more often than not they limit, if not completely destroy, the potential of so much that will remain forever unknown. Chances are we all have walked away from something or someone due to our own trust issues. But those issues are our issues and sometimes they create other issues. No matter the circumstance that may bring it on, periodically, we all need to evaluate self. If we do not address our issues, chances are we will continue to project them on others. There is so much trauma inherited in the streets that we must work to overcome or we risk becoming our own worst enemy.

Thanks for listening.

 

  

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