Menu

Kufuata @ Lockdownlive Twitter.

scdsc

maelezo

  • Serikali ya Jina: Omar Austin
  • Idadi kujiandikisha: 204603C
  • Umri:31
  • Muda aliwahi:tangu 2001
  • Nyumbani Town:Newark, NJ
  • Sentence:60 yrs + 7 mfululizo yrs
  • Sasa Mfawidhi:Double Mauaji
  • Alias:K.O.
  • Kutolewa Tarehe:2043
  • Gerezani Maegemeo:Damu (Valentine)
  • Mzunguko wa Ushawishi:Altariq Gumbs, Lester Alford, Pele Brown, Tewhan Butler,
  • Taasisi:East Jersey State Prison (Rahway)
  • Kama G halisi hawezi kumzuia wewe youngins, okay, kuwa ni njia FacebookJisajili, lakini angalau basi mimi prep wewe kwa ajili ya barabara.

Institutionalized: Not Really Living but Alive

prison cell

Waking up inside of a prison everyday for many years has lasting effects on a person. One becomes institutionalized and starts to feel like a robot, not really living but alive.

I struggle daily with the impact incarceration has and will continue to have on me. Prison is straight up ripping and robbing me of any emotion. I could not even cry if I wanted to. I hear about my homies getting killed out in the streets, brothers who were recently released from prison, like Black Wes (RIP) who was killed in January 2016. My bro was originally from Brick City, Hill Manor on the old High Street . . .

The traumatic experiences and lasting effects of street life and prison will one-day open a broader discussion. When the demonization phase wears off. When psychiatrists come forward and offer analyses on the roots of the behavior and new approaches to deal with it other than mass incarceration. One day that time will come.

It has been said that insanity is to keep doing the same thing, getting the same result, while expecting a different one. Vizuri, that is what we do. We keep on trucking in the lifestyle knowing that prison sentences and early death are highly likely. What does that make us? Clearly there is some form of insanity.

No matter how much reading I do, no matter how much rehabilitating work I do to elevate the mind and manifest the spiritual forces within, still there is the magnetic pull of that gangster shit. Whenever I encounter just the slightest sense of vulnerability, I don’t turn to Allah, karibu. I turn to that coldness. That I don’t give a fuck, chochote, mentality kicks in. No matter how far away from certain types of behavior I have made it past, I constantly find myself liable to take another deep dark turn down a road I am most familiar with.

People come in and out of my life. People in my circle pledge allegiance yet take any opportunity that arises to do some snake shit, knowing that an incarcerated nigga is depending on them. Anger builds up inside of a person, eventually there is some form of release. Everything I go through affects my mood. If I feel some type of way from the moment I wake up behind these walls, what chance is there to overcome the institutionalized mentality and apathy to be grounded back in my humanity??

  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Read this book!

Chagua lugha


Hariri Tafsiri

Haraka Shots

Jamii