PLACE: A cage with the walls closing in.
TIME: Is running out!
Peace my family, friends and foes. I hope this finds you in the best of health mentally, physically and spiritually. May your haters be angered at your good health, good fortune and the smile on your face.
I truly feel LIVE FROM LOCKDOWN right now. I want to catch y’all up on what’s been going on with your brother, comrade, general, friend, big homie, big brother, and, to the few, your enemy. I’m currently writing this post by hand on notebook paper because I’m locked down. I spent my 39th birthday in here. But for every curse there’s a blessing to come. I can truly say my blessing came three fold. 1) I finally got control of the pain that was in my head and heart over all the hurt I’ve dealt with over the past 18 months. 2) I’m being removed from this plantation and will have the chance to start over. 3) I finally put God in control of my life. Since I can remember God has watched over me. I still don’t put myself in a box by labeling my beliefs.
These last 18 months I’ve been so angry to the point I was blinded and could not see the blessing that was right in my face. See, since I been in this hole I couldn’t pinpoint what I was going to write about. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks: Write about my truth and that will always be my freedom. My anger over the lack of respect, loyalty and love from my homies, family members, and supposed friends pushed me beyond the limits of my endurance. My behavior may have caused me to lose someone who has shown me that love can over-ride pain.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am human. The expectation to be great is overwhelming. The expectation to be bigger than my past is overwhelming. The expectation to live up to the hype is overwhelming. They tell me how can you do this when you’re that? How can you love this person when you’re that person? How can you note be a Christian but you have a Muslim name?
I’m accused of things by liars and weak people, and do not fight back because that would be to stoop to their level. It’s madness how a liar or snake can call you a liar and a snake! I never profess to be perfect but I do stand on anything I do or say. I hate snakes and detest a liar. I watch the cobra and black mamba snakes running for president and wonder, how can I be judged?
This world treats everything it encounters with the indifference of trying to hug a homeless person.
I have made my peace with God and let man figure out their own peace.
I fear not being able to hug my mother as a free man.
I fear not seeing my son become great.
I fear being killed by those who are supposed to love me.
I fear not truly receiving the loyalty and love my family has in its soul. But because of past conditions the love and loyalty is watered down.
I fear my success and the hate it will bring from friends and foes alike.
I fear my good heart is going to be the death of me.
I fear that knowing I can’t please everybody, I’ll drive myself crazy trying.
I fear the one thing that is out of my control- death!
I fear losing my respect.
I fear with every two steps forward I’ll be knocked back three.
I fear if I speak out on the injustice that is happening with my people, I’ll be assassinated or ostracized by the same people I’m fighting to help free.
I fear my past will always hinder my future.
I fear losing the blessings of true love.
With these, and probably a few more, I look in the mirror and face my fears head on. Put the shit on my shoulders, roll my sleeves up, put my black gloves on, lace up my steel-toe boots, and press the damn gas!
Life is problem, however living life is the solution.
I will smile at every hurdle. I will laugh at every opportunity. I will celebrate life at every death. I will fight every battle and do my best to win every war. I will honor my loved ones and respect my foes. I will love every hater. I will wipe every tear. I will do my Dougie at every dance and brush every piece of dirt off my shoulder. I will put my ten toes firmly in the dirt and stick that famous finger in the air. I will teach the youth and pray for the ignorant. I will give my life for love, honor and respect and pray to God for the ones who don’t or won’t. I will mourn those before me and live til I join them.
My people, demand and fight for your freedom. If it’s not worth dying for, don’t cry when it is taken from you.
Your vote counts, but you’re not making it count. I would give my vote to Hillary because she is the snake I have a cure for.
I send my blessings your way and please send some my way.
Time is running out, so push pass the fears and live your life.
A day of happiness kills five days of sadness.
This is my truth which gives my freedom!
Your brother in the struggle,
Al-Tariq “Sankofa” Gumbs
P.S. – Will post new address upon arrival at next plantation
RIP Herman D. Gumbs (10/15/80-9/11/05) Love you lil bro!