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  • Nama Kerajaan: Al-Tariq Gumbs
  • Daftar Bilangan: 05674-078
  • Umur:37
  • Masa Berkhidmat:13+ tahun
  • Bandar Utama:Newark, NJ
  • Hukuman:168 bulan
  • Caj Semasa:Racketeering (RICO), Konspirasi
  • Alias:King Sankofa (Formerly known as Killer Reek)
  • Melepaskan Tarikh:2022
  • Gabungan Penjara:Darah (Sesak)
  • Circle Pengaruh:Emmanuel Jones, Lester Alford, Omar Austin, Tewhan Butler
  • Institusi:FCI Memphis
  • I would like to show you the real me.

Mental Prison

mental-prison

Sekarang, I can’t say when this started to happen, tetapi atas sebab tertentu fikiran saya mula menceritakan kepada sendiri bahawa saya tidak layak untuk menjadi gembira, bahawa saya tidak layak untuk dilayan seperti lelaki saya. Sesuatu dalam fikiran saya memberitahu saya bahawa tidak ada yang menyayangi saya. Sesuatu dalam fikiran saya memberitahu saya bahawa keluarga saya membenci saya. Sesuatu yang memberitahu saya bahawa saudara lil dan sistas saya tidak suka saya. Sesuatu yang memberitahu saya bahawa orang dalam hidup saya dapat menjalankan permainan pada saya. Sesuatu yang memberitahu saya bahawa penjara adalah di mana saya perlu menghabiskan hidup saya kerana saya layak untuk berada di sini. Something told me that these guys in here are my peoples. Something told me that the streets of Newark hate me like never before. Something told me that my life was nothing like the lady Sheila Hopkins told me when I was 19 tahun. Something told me that my son is going to have the same pain as me, and he doesn’t truly love me. Something told me that my mother didn’t love me the way she said she did. Something told me that to be happy is to be a fool, dan seperti yang saya melihat sekeliling saya mula melihat bahawa hidup saya telah berbalik sehingga sebelah bawah.

Saya diberitahu oleh Blondie bahawa ia mungkin kerana ulang tahun kali terakhir saya melihat Natalie dan dia meninggal dunia. Saya mula berfikir tentang itu. Saya mula berfikir tentang kedua-saudara saya mati masa ini tahun ini. Saya mula melihat perkara yang saya tidak pernah melihat sebelum. Saya mula mencari di dinding ini dan mula melihat bahawa ini adalah sebab untuk marah dan kesakitan saya. Saya telah dikurung selama 14 tahun berturut-turut, tidak chaser, dan ia telah mengambil tol pada saya bahawa saya tidak menjangka, atau mungkin hanya tidak mahu melihat. Sesuatu dalam kepala saya memberitahu saya saya masih yang 25 dude lama tahun yang tidak perlu lagi dikunci 14 tahun yang lalu. Saya duduk dan menonton TV dan melihat semua ini lelaki dan wanita keluar dari penjara dan saya tersenyum. Saya gembira untuk itu dan seorang lelaki bertanya kepada saya adakah saya mempunyai apa-apa yang datang dari beberapa undang-undang ini. Saya hanya mengatakan tidak. Mereka tidak memahami bahawa saya tidak berputus asa. Saya hanya memahami realiti apa yang Tuhan telah merancang untuk saya. Hidup saya belum dipenuhi.

In my head I tell myself I’m ready for those streets but God must not think so because he has chosen for me to do this time. That’s cool because I always felt that this needed to happen. In order for my life to move forward I must shed myself of my past. Walau bagaimanapun, I can’t sit here and say that I’m not affected by the time I have done so far. Some guys do things to keep their mind off these cold walls. I’m like that. I float through this madness and try not to let it rub off on me. I heard somewhere that when a person does more than ten years in prison they should automatically go and see someone because that is not natural. I understand what they mean. My mind was tripping the last couple of weeks. I couldn’t write, couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t keep my word to the people I love. I was running around looking to get into fights like I was 22 or something. I caught my first shot (write up) since being in the feds. I knew something was going on. I couldn’t place my finger on it but it’s these walls, and I made the first mistake. I allowed them to enter my mind. I allowed these cold walls, with not a touch of love, to get into my system. I became destructive in my thinking and actions. Lies flowed off my tongue. Anger came out of my pores. As I sit in front of this computer, I’m going to tell you that if you are ever are going through something and you can’t figure out why you have a destructive mind set, I think you should take a step back and look at your life and pull yourself together.

My life in prison has been so crazy, and I have been pushing past it as if it doesn’t bother me. That’s like not eating and trying to work out. It’s not going to go well. We have to find something or someone to bring us out of that mindset. In prison there’s so much anger and hatred that when people lie in your face you expect it. When people say they’re your homie and then turn around and talk behind your back you expect it. It’s funny that all the guys in here want to get out, but guys out there are doing things to get in here. If that isn’t madness, I don’t know what is.

To my peoples on them streets who are in that mental prison, my advice is to find your key. Blondie you’re going to be okay. It’s time to do what is needed because living unhappy isn’t the way to live. I love you and hope that one day those dreams become reality. To my crazy sista Dell, it’s going to be okay. You are truly one of kind and your friendship is something I cherish. Your pain will turn into happiness. My crazy publicist and friend Unique thanks for running for me. I know I got you tired. LOL. Camisha, my crazy sista, love you and know you’re truly a big sista. Juga, Ms.Miranda, my friend, I want you to know you are going to be okay. You have to find the things that make you happy; life is too short. Jazzie you have something to live for and never think that he will give you something you can’t handle. Find your key, ma. To all of my loved ones, find your key and release yourself from your mental prison. And to the brothers and sistas behind these walls, your key is your mind. Never give them that. Even if Obama doesn’t help you, you should help yourself by staying alive and healthy and educating yourself. This may be prison, but it doesn’t have to be your home. Find your key . . .

King Sankofa out!

Free more and then Free some more after that . . . Don’t stop until all who are worthy of that freedom get it. The problem is keeping it . . . Peace my people . . . I play a part in my freedom. I now know that. I’m out. King Sankofa . . .

P.S. I’m working on getting all of my books in order and making them available. It has been a long ride, but I’m getting it together. Thank you all for being patient with me, and yes all of my family and friends are crazy. They know I mean nothing by it, but they have to be crazy to be friends with me. lol

R.I.P My big brother Bruce “Bobba-Lee” Gumbs. (I think that is how he spelled his nick name.) My lil brother Zeus, after 15 years in this hell hole, I’m praying and hoping you have it together. Love you, but don’t want to talk to you right now. word.

  

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