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  • Владата Име: Tewhan Батлер
  • Регистрирај се Број: 26852-050
  • Возраст:34
  • Време служев:11 години
  • Роден град:Исток портокал, NJ
  • Реченица:30 години.
  • Тековната задолжен:РИКО
  • Алијас:Масакрот
  • Датум на издавање:2029
  • Затвор Припадност:Крв (Двојно II / QSBG)
  • Круг на влијание:Altariq Gumbs, Emmanuel Jones, Лестер Alford, Marco Мигел Робертсон, Pele Brown, Дејвид зујат, Џермејн Реј, Марко Мартин, Michael Simpson, Omar Остин, Quaheem Едвардс, Torvos Симпсон, Винсент Gamboa
  • Институција:USP McCreary
  • Тука, мојот живот зад решетки нуди разбирање за оние од вас кои вложување во "животот" без разбирање на нејзините последици: на катастрофа, на пречките и патување мора да патуваат сами кога чеканот е тресна, вашиот мобилен е заклучен и светлата излегувам.

Trust Issues

Trust issues

An extended stay in solitary confinement led to a much needed moment of self evaluation.

For quite some time I’ve been spilling truth from my pen in search of absolutely nothing in return. Today I’m in desperate need for what can be considered an enormous favor. Ве молиме, just this one time, can you lend me your ear?

(Inhales deeply) I didn’t realize how difficult this would be until now. Not too long ago this beast of a place got a hold of my sanity. My mental began to slip. I found myself questioning. When I shouted and was thoroughly responded to, I was forced into what can be considered a much needed moment of self evaluation. During this time of psychological torture I lost sight of the importance of the “good word”. (Not referring to the Bible)

Since a child I always had difficulty maintaining a friendship or bond. Be it romantically with a woman or brotherly with a comrade. My moment of self evaluation made me consider why. Why did I always manage to sabotage relationships? Why did I always create distance when anyone got too close? What I found was, similar to being a product of my environment, I was furthermore an object of my experiences. What I’ve experienced in my years was the greatest harm done by those in closest proximity.

In the streets I was taught trust no one. In prison my survival is dependent on trusting no one. A lifetime of trust no one has rendered me a man lost. The mental and emotional strain of my way of life have been and still are debilitating. So I just want to share the results of my self evaluation with you all in the hope that we can build on the lesson learned.

We all have trust issues and more often than not they limit, if not completely destroy, the potential of so much that will remain forever unknown. Chances are we all have walked away from something or someone due to our own trust issues. But those issues are our issues and sometimes they create other issues. No matter the circumstance that may bring it on, periodically, we all need to evaluate self. If we do not address our issues, chances are we will continue to project them on others. There is so much trauma inherited in the streets that we must work to overcome or we risk becoming our own worst enemy.

Thanks for listening.

 

  

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