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  • Владата Име: Al-Tariq Gumbs
  • Регистрирај се Број: 05674-078
  • Возраст:37
  • Време служев:13+ години
  • Роден град:Њуарк, NJ
  • Реченица:168 месеци
  • Тековната задолжен:Racketeering (РИКО), Заговор
  • Алијас:King Sankofa (Formerly known as Killer Reek)
  • Датум на издавање:2022
  • Затвор Припадност:Крв (Обод)
  • Круг на влијание:Emmanuel Jones, Лестер Alford, Omar Остин, Tewhan Батлер
  • Институција:FCI Memphis
  • I would like to show you the real me.

Mental Prison

mental-prison

Сега, I can’t say when this started to happen, but for some reason my mind started to tell itself that I didn’t deserve to be happy, that I didn’t deserve to be treated like the man I was. Something in my mind told me that no one loved me. Something in my mind told me that my family hated me. Something told me that my lil brothers and sistas didn’t love me. Something told me that people in my life be running game on me. Something told me that prison is where I need to spend my life because I deserve to be here. Something told me that these guys in here are my peoples. Something told me that the streets of Newark hate me like never before. Something told me that my life was nothing like the lady Sheila Hopkins told me when I was 19 години. Something told me that my son is going to have the same pain as me, and he doesn’t truly love me. Something told me that my mother didn’t love me the way she said she did. Something told me that to be happy is to be a fool, and as I looked around I started to see that my life was really turning up side down.

I was told by Blondie that it may be because of the one year anniversary of the last time I saw Natalie and she passed away. I started to think about that. Почнав да размислувам за двајцата браќа мои умирање овој период од годината. Почнав да ги гледам работите никогаш не го видов пред. Почнав да ги гледам овие ѕидови и почна да се види дека тоа е причина за гневот и болка ми. Јас сум бил затворен заради 14 години исправен, Нема женкар, и беше потребно за патарина за мене дека јас не се предвиди, или можеби само не сакаше да се види. Нешто во мојата глава ми вели дека јас сум се уште 25 годишниот пријателе кој доби затворени 14 years ago. I sit and watch TV and see all of these guys and women getting out of jail and I smile. I’m happy for that and guys ask me do I have anything coming from some of these laws. I just say no. They don’t understand that I’m not giving up. I just understand the reality of what God has planned for me. My life is yet to be fulfilled.

In my head I tell myself I’m ready for those streets but God must not think so because he has chosen for me to do this time. That’s cool because I always felt that this needed to happen. In order for my life to move forward I must shed myself of my past. Сепак, I can’t sit here and say that I’m not affected by the time I have done so far. Some guys do things to keep their mind off these cold walls. I’m like that. I float through this madness and try not to let it rub off on me. I heard somewhere that when a person does more than ten years in prison they should automatically go and see someone because that is not natural. Јас разбирам она што тие значат. Умот ми беше трипал на последните неколку недели. Не можев да се напише, Не можев да мислам исправен. Не можев да си ја задржам мојата збор на луѓето што ги сакам. Јас сум возел бараат да влезат во тепачки како да сум 22 или нешто. Фатив мојот прв шут (пишувај) бидејќи да се биде во feds. Знаев дека нешто се случува. Јас не може да се одржи мојот прст на тоа, но тоа е од овие ѕидови, и не сум направил првата грешка. Јас им дозволи да влезат во мојот ум. Јас дозволено овие ладни ѕидови, не со еден допир на љубовта, to get into my system. I became destructive in my thinking and actions. Lies flowed off my tongue. Anger came out of my pores. As I sit in front of this computer, I’m going to tell you that if you are ever are going through something and you can’t figure out why you have a destructive mind set, I think you should take a step back and look at your life and pull yourself together.

My life in prison has been so crazy, and I have been pushing past it as if it doesn’t bother me. That’s like not eating and trying to work out. It’s not going to go well. We have to find something or someone to bring us out of that mindset. In prison there’s so much anger and hatred that when people lie in your face you expect it. When people say they’re your homie and then turn around and talk behind your back you expect it. It’s funny that all the guys in here want to get out, but guys out there are doing things to get in here. If that isn’t madness, I don’t know what is.

To my peoples on them streets who are in that mental prison, my advice is to find your key. Blondie you’re going to be okay. It’s time to do what is needed because living unhappy isn’t the way to live. I love you and hope that one day those dreams become reality. To my crazy sista Dell, it’s going to be okay. You are truly one of kind and your friendship is something I cherish. Your pain will turn into happiness. My crazy publicist and friend Unique thanks for running for me. I know I got you tired. LOL. Camisha, my crazy sista, love you and know you’re truly a big sista. Исто така,, Ms.Miranda, my friend, I want you to know you are going to be okay. You have to find the things that make you happy; life is too short. Jazzie you have something to live for and never think that he will give you something you can’t handle. Find your key, ma. To all of my loved ones, find your key and release yourself from your mental prison. And to the brothers and sistas behind these walls, your key is your mind. Never give them that. Even if Obama doesn’t help you, you should help yourself by staying alive and healthy and educating yourself. This may be prison, but it doesn’t have to be your home. Find your key . . .

King Sankofa out!

Free more and then Free some more after that . . . Don’t stop until all who are worthy of that freedom get it. The problem is keeping it . . . Peace my people . . . I play a part in my freedom. I now know that. I’m out. King Sankofa . . .

P.S. I’m working on getting all of my books in order and making them available. It has been a long ride, but I’m getting it together. Thank you all for being patient with me, and yes all of my family and friends are crazy. They know I mean nothing by it, but they have to be crazy to be friends with me. lol

R.I.P My big brother Bruce “Bobba-Lee” Gumbs. (I think that is how he spelled his nick name.) My lil brother Zeus, after 15 years in this hell hole, I’m praying and hoping you have it together. Love you, but don’t want to talk to you right now. word.

  

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