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  • Valitsus nimi: Roderick Sutton
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  • Institutsioon:Allenwood
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Father’s Day: Is a Father’s Worth Less


Dad and daughter reunited

As we prepare to celebrate Father’s Day, I have a message for ALL fathers, nagu mina: Show Up, Tõstke üles, Man Up; your children need you!

Here’s something ALL fathers should heed and man up to: A failed relationship or the lack of any real relationship with your child’s mother is no excuse for being an absent and inactive father, regardless of how you may feel about your child’s mother.

Jah, their mothers may be capable of doing without you. Those single mothers who courageously take on the responsibilities and challenges of raising a child alone are deserving of respect and appreciation for their efforts. But let’s not confuse your children’s ability to survive in your absence with their need of your presence to thrive. You MUST reject the commonly accepted notion that motherhood is necessary while fatherhood is an option, superfluous, a privilege, or a luxury only for fortunate children.

Before conclusions are made that this message is aimed solely at absentee and deadbeat dads, let’s be clear, there’s more than one way to be absent from your child’s life. Too many of us have been missing in action as fathers for what we deemed good reason(s) or acceptable excuses at the time. Many of us figured as long as our children have food, the latest fashion, electronics, and other materialistic things, everything would be just fine. Ju, we are doing it all for them, õigus? That’s the farthest from the truth. Thee truth is we have substituted quality time with our kids with materialistic things and our own pursuit of a lifestyle. I was missing in action in pursuit of lifestyle, even though that lifestyle was my means to provide financially. But at what cost?

Our children become an after thought or a trophy we can conveniently display and speak about. Some of us have even made the needs of our children’s mothers priority over our child’s needs. Your child’s needs should never be neglected in the pursuit of a lifestyle, a sexual conquest, or even a career.

Stepping up as a father requires personal sacrifice and the time necessary to raise and teach your child so that they are not neglected. What your child(ren) will remember is whether or not you loved and appreciated them and made the necessary sacrifices to be fully engaged in their life, for special occasions and on a day-to-day basis. Who wants to be that father like me who misses out on their child’s first steps, first words, potty training, first day of school, the prom, graduation, and more, while your replacement gets to enjoy those precious once-in-a-lifetime moments?

Despite the emotional, financial, geographic and sadly, sometimes even legal challenges, being a present and active father WILL require you to man up, especially if you have an unhealthy or nonexistent relationship with the mother(s) of your child(ren). Focus on your child’s needs even if their mother(s) is not cooperating or reciprocating. If you feel disregarded as a parent, speak up because silence relays complacency.

Olles seda öelnud, Ma küsin, is a father’s worth less?


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