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  • Government Name: Roderick Sutton
  • Register Number: 60128-066
  • Age:33
  • Time Served:8 yrs.
  • Home Town:Easton, PA
  • Sentence:17 yrs.
  • Current Charge:Armed Bank Robbery; Firearm; Possession 5 grams or more of cocaine; Aiding & Abetting
  • Alias:Roach
  • Release Date:2019
  • Prison Affiliation:None
  • Circle of Influence:
  • Institution:Allenwood
  • Here is where everyone loses and what everyone does, time! Time takes, but time teaches.

Confessions, Admissions, and Apologies

While on my mission for forgiveness, I’ve realized that most of the time confessions have no objective other than to disclose a secret. A confession could be spoken or written. Writing a confession forces you to relive the wrongs. Writing breaks down the barrier. It gives you time to let the hurt you caused to become consistent in the way it is experienced, particularly when it has taken the confessant a long time to realize how responsible they really were. Unfortunately, there must be someone who will listen without condemning you; someone who will not use your secret to bolster their ego or to entertain other people. So take heed and choose wisely to whom you confess because it’s safe to assume that your written confession may be read by others who, in these days, will go on to “update their status” on a social media site or more!

Some people who need to forgive themselves consider going directly to the one(s) they hurt, as I’ve done, because confessions open doors, but they do not allow people to come back in the house. They point the way toward transforming one’s life, but they do not transform people. A confession alone will not take away your regret or result in instantaneous forgiveness from the one(s) you hurt. Confessions open the door to change, transformation, and forgiveness. A confession allows someone to see one’s deepest flaws.

A confession is quite different from an admission. Is it possible to have a confession without admission? Some people may be able to admit how responsible they were for causing hurt to others or relationships. To admit something is to accept something as true and to validate a belief of another. Admissions also reveal truth. When you admit that your wrongdoing was responsible for injury, when you are true to yourself and the one(s) you’ve hurt, you have taken a major step. But it comes with pain because old wounds are opened, which makes it even more difficult to forgive yourself until you confess the harm you have done.  A sincere confession is one of the most humbling experiences a person can undergo. It allows the one(s) you hurt to know just how flawed, mean, or wrong you were. It very well may validate the feelings they have had prior to the confession. One of the most difficult positions we find ourselves in is when we are wrong. To forgive yourself for being wrong you have to admit and accept you were wrong.

Wrongdoers who engage in the process of self-discovery also gain new perspectives on other people.

Understand that confessions are not the same as apologies. The content of a confession and the content of an apology are vastly different. An apology sets off a dialogue between the wrongdoer and the one(s) they hurt. Apologies may or may not reconnect them, but in the spirit of forgiveness, which requires an unwavering commitment to truth, an apology is the only real means of opening up the potential of reconnecting with the one(s) you’ve hurt. An apology acknowledges your flaws to people who already know about them. Apologies are like secrets. A secret told empowers the listener and decreases the power of the teller. An apology transfers power. A person who apologizes hands over the future of a relationship to another. This is one reason that so many of us refuse to apologize. Apologies, whether accepted or unaccepted, do not restore relationships to there original form. A person who forgives does not forget the past. We may be helpless to change the past, but we are not helpless to change the future.

With that said, we must individually and collectively grapple to determine the stance we will take when we have been hurt or when we have hurt others. Retaliation and revenge are one option. Forgiveness of ourselves and others is another. And inaction is another option. Once might agree that, when sincere, confessions, admissions, and apologies are various forms of compassion and understanding. Could one say the same about retaliation, revenge, or inaction? Whichever we choose, as adults, each should respond to life responsibly.

Holding yourself responsible may be the most difficult part of the entire self-forgiveness process. Every person is questioned in life. If one can only answer to life by answering for their own life, to life they shall be responsible!

  

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