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  • Government Name: Tewhan Butler
  • Register Number: 26852-050
  • Age:34
  • Time Served:11 years
  • Home Town:East Orange, NJ
  • Sentence:30 yrs.
  • Current Charge:RICO
  • Alias:Massacre
  • Release Date:2029
  • Prison Affiliation:Blood (Double ii/QSBG)
  • Circle of Influence:Altariq Gumbs, Emmanuel Jones, Lester Alford, Marco Miguel Robertson, Pele Brown, David Drone, Jermaine Ray, Marcus Martin, Michael Simpson, Omar Austin, Quaheem Edwards, Torvos Simpson, Vincent Gamboa
  • Institution:USP McCreary
  • Here, my life behind bars offers understanding for those of you who venture into ‘the life’ with no understanding of its consequences: the adversity, the obstacles and the journey one must travel alone when the gavel is slammed, your cell is locked and the lights go out.

A Prison Birthday

It’s around 8:45 a.m. Central Time. The date October 1st. The day I was brought into this cold world. Today, I sit 34 years of age and though I’m used to these days being symbolized as happy, I can’t help but sit and stare all around at what I am surrounded with and my wretching circumstances, feeling everything but happy. This isn’t expression in search of sympathy, yet a voice crying out to be understood.

11 years ago this very day, handcuffs were placed upon my wrists. My freedom was taken. My birthdays were said to never again be happy. I think back to when she said she would forever love me, then she left. I think back to all of the many riders who screamed “Death before Dishonor” who I no longer hear from. I can’t say that I wish I was never born; thus and so, I wish that on October 1st, 1979 I was not brought into a world that knew not of compassion, knew nothing of equality and didn’t hold high the mantra- “Only the Strong Survive.”

Pained, instead of birthday cakes, parties and burning candles, I’m stuck here alone with nothing more to invest in than fake smiles, artifical handshakes and cold stares. Maybe I should be happy for this day; for the chances of my tomorrow are not as great as some would imagine. So many years, so little tears, an enormous amount of heartache. One birthday after the next.

A million times more, I am grateful for the few who extend their wishes on this day as it is for you that I hold back the tears, hold my head high and claim to be happy when in all actuality I believe not that there is a happy soul on this side of the track. Happy Birthday to me!

  

12 responses to “A Prison Birthday”

  1. Real talk this is the truth for those who think doing time is a walk in the park….It hurts like hell rethinking those days of my name not being called for mail, visits, to go home its. We fell your pain

  2. Megan Hush says:

    Our youth got the game twisted out here they swear going to prison is cool and they will walk threw it like they do the block. There is nothing sweet about the inside. Your pain is felt. And we as parents need to teach our kids to stay from inside there and become successful adults. Keep your head up and keep doing what you got to do. Mad love from this side!!!!

  3. Happiness can be found in the darkest places it starts within yourself we cant change yesterday but I pray that God will allow you to change your future….Your life is not over simply on pause…so grateful that you are ALIVE is a blessing…..it may not be the life you desire or thought you would have but you live to see another day……STAY STRONG DONT HOLD YOUR EMOTIONS CRYING FREES YOUR SOUL…..

  4. happy birthday brother i love you

  5. Not many can say they experience life in that dark place but I can I was in the womens prison in NJ three times,I was facing a 15 with a 85 I lost all hope and wanted nothing to do with the outside world due to my lifestyle I didn´t want any disappointment,but I had to realize I was never alone Allah never left me I only left myself…I had many birthdays in the dark place,but the best gift I received was my mental freedom,after that I did my old charge and won my pending charge,even the darkest place have sunlight..follow your light happy bday

  6. Happy Birthday Comrade, Love and light.

  7. Q.s. B. Rule says:

    Happii Belated Q-Daii Bruh…head up, chest out

  8. Mizzy Man says:

    Look I can´t speak for everybody but me. I just did 4yrs and I got the same treatment..So I feel your pain. I got you My GG ii

  9. Bro HAPPY B DAY…LUV U MY BOY! STAND SRTONG

  10. Monica says:

    I appreciate your writings and I will make sure I get you a card every 10/01.

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